As I am going through my #100DaySelfLoveAffair I noticed that my approach to certain things has already changed. There is a certain power in focusing on my own well-being and acting on my own behalf.
For example, I got asked out for coffee by a friend of a friend. He messaged me on Facebook and seemed to have a great sense of humor, so I thought it would be fun to meet and make a new friend. When we did meet I was shocked to see how much anger he had towards his surrounding. At times he would use 2-3 curse words in one sentence. He even laughed at my self-love project.
In the past I would have been frustrated and upset that I was wasting my time. But as I focus on self-love, I found more acceptance in myself. I could almost sense the wall he has built around himself was to protect his very sensitive soul and I actually felt very sorry for his pain.
You see, by being more compassionate towards myself, I found more compassion towards others. When he asked me out again, I politely declined and felt very free and powerful in my answer. "What is there for us to talk about?", I said. To which he replied :"with you, you are right, there is nothing to talk about." Now I want to say that after that coffee I ended up having dinner with a new friend and we talked for 4 hours!
But the note that the first guy thought there was nothing for us to talk about didn't offend me one bit. That was his reality. Not mine. I got to choose if I wanted to be in it or not. And I chose not. I didn't need him to tell me I was pretty and validate my existence. I have the power to validate myself any time of the day, whether I look pretty or not.
So, by loving myself, I felt powerful to choose what was best for me. I chose to end the conversation that was full of anger and instead chose to have a 4-hour dinner conversation because it was effortless and inspiring.
When you love yourself, you are no longer a victim of circumstance. You have the power to stay or walk away from almost any situation and I hope you see that this paper is yours for the taking. There is nothing more special about me than there is about you. All you have to do is love yourself up every day with your actions. I promise you, you will feel your power and you will let yourself blossom!
And if you need help changing your thoughts to truly believe in your power, then try my #1 tip to changing the voices in your head. What has worked for me is putting on my head phones and changing the tune. Here is the list of my favorite songs as well as a new video.
“Speak Life,” TobyMac
“Everybody,” Ingrid Michaelson
“Flashdance: What A Feeling,” Irene Cara
“Dare to Live,” Andrea Bocelli
“It’s My Life,” Bon Jovi
“F---n’ Perfect,” Pink
“Roar,” Katy Perry
“When You Believe,” Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey
“Unwritten,” Natasha Bedingfield
“It’s Amazing,” Jem
“If You’re Going Through Hell,” Rodney Atkins
“Wild Motion (Set it Free),” Miami Horror
“We Weren’t Born to Follow,” Bon Jovi
“Nothing Else Matters,” Metallica
“I Will Survive,” Gloria Gaynor
“Here Comes the Sun,” The Beatles
“You Are Not Alone,” Michael Jackson
“I Am Alive,” Celine Dion
“I’m Ready To Listen,” Rickie Byars Beckwith
“Invisible,” Hunter Hayes
One of the biggest challenges my clients face when they start working with me is discovering that deep inside them there is a voice that sabotages their successes. Somewhere deep inside there is a voice that keeps telling them that they are not good enough… Continue reading here.
One of my favorite Disney movies is Beauty and the Beast. Little girls from an early age are taught to look through the looks and love people for who they are. I think we all consciously try to do that. Except for one person. In my line of work I often see women who can't fall in love with themselves. Continue reading here.