Yesterday, I was coaching a young woman on how to make the right choice in her relationship -- should she be in it or should she get out? As a coach, I don't advise people on WHAT to do, but lead them to find the answer they know is already there inside them. But since sometimes it may be hard to look at a relationship objectively, an analogy to shopping can do the trick.
So, look at the dilemma as if you are buying a dress. It maybe a gorgeous Dior gown in a beautiful shade of emerald that looks fabulous on a hanger, but once you put it on, it is a whole different story. The dress may not fit well on your shoulders or be too tight at the waist. It may be too short or the color may clash with your skin tone. It may even be a whole size smaller than you wear. And yet, you love that dress. So, what's a girl to do?
You can still buy the dress, love looking at it, but hate wearing it. But is that worth the financial investment? The answer is in you and it is up to you to decide on how to proceed. All I can do is help you change your perspective -- think of a simple, elegant, non-designer dress that you once bought on sale and then ended up loving it so much that you wore it all the time. I know we all have had that kind of shopping experience. Well, same can happen in relationships.
You may meet a terrific person, but they just seem to bring out the worst in you and no matter how hard you both try, you both end up sad or angry. It doesn't mean that you are bad people, it could be that you just don't "fit" each other as well. And if that is the case, think of what you would do with that amazing Dior gown that didn't fit... Would you buy it or leave it?
I believe the relationships are meant to be joyful. I believe that your partner should help you become the best person you can be. Yes, there may be down days when you get mad and you fight, but I think those should be rare. In the end, the happy days should be outweighing the sad days by a big margin. After all, why would a person decide to invest his/her time in a relationship if they weren't feeling loved?
Remember that no matter who you are or where you are, you are a part of the universe that is all love and you deserve to feel that love. Relationships and shopping should you be your choices, so make them the most fabulous and joyful experiences you can!
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