One of my favorite Disney movies is Beauty and the Beast. This morning I was thinking what a beautiful story it is -- a gorgeous girl falls in love with a beast because she can see something special in him. She falls in love with his beautiful spirit. Millions of people world-wide know this story and admire it as much as I do. Little girls from an early age are taught to look through the looks and love people for who they are. I think we all consciously try to do that. Except for one person. In my line of work I often see women who can't fall in love with themselves.
I have several clients that are truly beautiful inside and out, but somehow they don't love themselves. There is a lot of self-doubt, low self-worth and a lot of negativity that is pointed inwards. I must admit that loving myself wasn't easy either. It took a long time for me to be able to tell myself that I love me. It wasn't easy to see what a great person I am. And even as I am writing these lines, a lingering doubt still comes over my head and asks me who the heck am I to say that I am a great person? Why in the world should I think that I am great? To silence the voice I want to ask it back -- why not?
It is me who is doing the thinking, so I might as well think well of myself. One of my favorite quotes is from Henry Ford who said: "Whether you think you can or you can't. Either way you're right." Funny thing is, you are the one who gets to choose how to think. No one is perfect. We all have good and not-so-good traits. We are all doing the best we can. So, if you love your friends just as they are, if you respect a wedding vow that states "for better or worse," then why not apply the same rules to ourselves?
Love yourself as you are and focus on the good in you. See your own beauty, not the "beast." Why can Belle love the beast while it is often so hard to humans to love ourselves? Nourish your spirit and be gentle with yourself. I believe there is divinity in each one of us and it is our job to respect it and appreciate it. I am not advocating self-loathing or selfishness. I am simply trying to shift focus from being our own worst-critic to our very own best cheerleader. We have the power to love or hate ourselves. Chances are, we can find reasons to do either one. Why not choose the one that makes us feel good?
It may take practice, but I promise you, it is well worth-it. I started by looking at myself in the mirror and trying to come up with 3 things I liked about myself. It may not be easy at first, so see yourself as your friends do and start thinking of things people compliment you on. Work on focusing on those features and expand the list as you go along. Like a small snowball of self-love, it will begin to grow bigger with each practice until one day when you pass by yourself in the mirror, smile, wink at yourself and say "Hello, Gorgeous!"
One of the biggest challenges my clients face when they start working with me is discovering that deep inside them there is a voice that sabotages their successes. Somewhere deep inside there is a voice that keeps telling them that they are not good enough… Continue reading here.
One of my favorite Disney movies is Beauty and the Beast. Little girls from an early age are taught to look through the looks and love people for who they are. I think we all consciously try to do that. Except for one person. In my line of work I often see women who can't fall in love with themselves. Continue reading here.