Do you struggle with negative or bad thoughts? Do you think badly about yourself? Judge others? Have you ever thought about the origin of these thoughts? I know I used to have terrifying thoughts that would make me anxious and throw me off balance a lot. Unfortunately I know that I am not the only one and I know that many people struggle with "bad" thoughts. So, what's a girl to do?
After analyzing my own self for a few years and doing a lot of soul-searching, I finally found the answer that helped me and I hope will help you. And guess what? I can explain it in shopping terms!
Imagine this... You go to Nordstrom and you find yourself in the middle of shoes, skirts, dresses, tops and pants galore. You find the items that you like and go to try them on. Additionally a sales associate may also bring some extra pieces that she selected for you. After you are finished trying on all of the clothes, you select the ones that you want and leave the store. Later on, you wear your new outfits, check for any damage and make sure they fit as well as you remember. If not, you return them to the store. Pretty basis stuff.
But what about our thoughts? We got them from somewhere. We weren't born with them, that's for sure. Every baby that is born is pure and joyful. Babies don't judge who looks the skinniest in a diaper and who has a designer stroller. So, bad thoughts and judgments had to have come from an outside source such as media, family members, school, classmates, co-workers, etc.
Somewhere along your life you observed someone else saying something or doing something and you picked up that thought. Just like in the store, you put it in your shopping bag, took it home, put it on and kept wearing it. Most of us did it at one time or the other. But unlike shopping, if a thought made us feel bad and didn't fit our personalities, we still kept on "wearing" it.
For example, I used to always feel bad about being late for dinners, gatherings, etc and I always wanted to arrive earlier. This thought made me feel bad every time I thought I was running late and made me anxious. I drove my friends and family crazy watching the clock! After looking back at the origin of the thought (store I got it from), I realized that it was my grandmother who said that it is rude for people to be late and I should always be on time. Even though that thought didn't fit my personality, I took it anyway and started "wearing" it. After realizing that this thought has given me more stress than peace, I decided that it was time to throw out that thought, just as I would throw out a dress that wasn't fitting me.
If there are any thoughts that stress you out more than help you enjoy your life, look back, just like you were in the mall. Where did you "purchase" that thought? Thank the store for manufacturing that thought, but politely decline wearing it from now on.
After all, if you wore a pair of shoes that hurt your feet and made your feel look awful, would you still keep wearing them and complain or would you throw them out and put on the ones that make you feel and look good?
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