We are now in the middle of summer and many of you may be craving the sweetness of summer romance. If that's the case for you and you feel frustrated that you haven't met "the one" yet, don't despair. "The one" is actually closer than you think.
Here is missing piece of the puzzle - YOU are the one you have been searching for!
What do I mean?
Well, the truth is, that no matter who you end up dating, sleeping with or marrying, you will always feel a certain emptiness inside. You will always wonder if that person is "the one" and it will always feel like something is missing.
That is until you learn to fill this void from within and fall in love with yourself. Only then can you start to truly experience the "happy ever after," with or without the prince/princess charming.
I have been single for almost two years now and I will be honest, it has been rocky and lonely at times. But complete truth be told, I also used to feel lonely when I was dating and when I was married. That's because I didn't truly love myself then.
Today, even when I am alone, I don't usually feel lonely or sad. Instead, I feel peaceful and happy. And when I don't (which happens, because I am human after all), I know how to get back to my happy place - for me it is by taking myself out on self-dates and I pampering myself.
Just yesterday, I was alone and thought how nice it would be if I was dating. Then I thought - What would I do if I was with someone right now? The answer was - I would want to go for a walk, enjoy the sunset and talk.
So, off I went. On a walk. With myself.
I very much enjoyed the gorgeous sunset, romantic music in my iPod and the pleasant internal dialog. I found myself quiet funny and laughed at my own jokes, which probably wouldn't happen that much if I was with someone (most people don't my jokes funny! Ha!)
If you are reading this wishing to feel happiness inside and to enjoy the true fulfillment, then I want to share my experience and my knowledge with you. I know how hard it is to fall in love with yourself, especially when you know how not-so-perfect you are.
But unfortunately, if you don't fully love yourself, you can't fully love others and others won't know how to fully love you.
I know in the past when I used to feel lonely or sad, I would reach for chocolate or a cookie to get the sweetness I was craving. That unfortunately led to unwanted pounds and deeper feeling of disappointment and dissatisfaction and when you feel bad, you want even more sweetness, i.e. more cookies. Yeah, I've been there...
I want to share this little exercise that may help you get out of that vicious eating cycle...
4 STEPS TO CHOOSING A LOVING ACTION WITH YOURSELF instead of eating: P.L.A.Y.
PAUSE: Stop whatever you are doing. That’s all. Just pause and take a breath.
LISTEN: Listen to your body. Reflect on the situation from the outside looking in. What put you in this situation? How are you feeling at this particular moment? Do you feel physically hungry? What bubbles up to the surface when you allow your craving to exist? Do you simply want to dive into eating because you want to feel something on the emotional level? Pay attention to that feeling.
ASK: Be honest with yourself and ask the following questions:
• What am I really craving?
• Do I want to over-indulge or do I simply crave the taste and
pleasure of a particular food?
• Would my action be loving to my body and my being?
• Will this action show me all the love I have for myself?
• Will it nurture my body and spirit?
• Will the food/action satisfy my true craving?
Say YES: It’s time for a positive affirmation. Say YES to yourself and do what will make you feel truly loved and satisfied. What will it be? Get creative. Turn up the music, dance, smell beautiful flowers, light up a fragrant candle.
Call a friend to hear the voice of someone who cares about you. Make a list of activities that you are looking forward to doing. Do something to move you away from the unloving action on which you were about to embark. You will feel the answer come to you; from there, it’s your choice. Whatever you do, know that your choice is a powerful and conscious decision.
Sometimes eating the whole cheesecake may seem like the only thing that can save your spirit from falling, even if your body won’t like it. Trust me, I understand. In those moments, just observe the action and accept yourself as human. Simply do your best and do it from the space of full awareness and self-love.
It took me 3 years to finally publish my book Let Yourself Blossom: The Un-diet Guide to Food and Self-Love, but it is finally here and I know it can help you.
It will teach you how to stop self-doubt, self-hatred and self-abuse whether through food or other substances.
I promise you it is a pretty easy read and I personally re-read my own book if I need to get back on track.
Check it out in paperback (which has lots of space for notes, making this book truly about YOU) or on Kindle app. You will also get to enjoy some of my yummy recipes that will make you feel loved inside and out.
Write to me if you have any specific questions that I can answer for you.
Sending you lots of love,
Why ask me?
- After many challenges and different crazy life experiences I am living my dream life and since my friends say I am pretty wisdomous and I think I am a little bit funny too, I want to share my life approach with you so you can live the life you love as well.
Here is a little bit about me:
- I am a creator of #1 Best Diet as selected by Harpers Baazar Magazine
- I started my career in the corporate world and didn't even know how to peel a shallot
- I have been a chef for celebrities for over 10 years
- I have a realistic approach to food and life
- I have a great relationship with food and can even let chocolate go bad because I simply forget I have it at home (something I wasn't able to do 10 years ago)
- I eat carbs whenever I feel like it without any guilt
- I used to hate to cook and now absolutely love being a private chef and a food relationship coach
- I wear whatever clothes I desire no matter what everyone is wearing or thinking
- I am in good shape and my body’s biological age is 13 years younger than the one in my passport
- I have experience being super poor, super wealthy and in between
- I’ve worked in corporate world and am now an entrepreneur
- I was married and divorced
- I used to cry going to work because I was so miserable with my boss
- I’ve had an emotional eating disorder
- I moved from Russia to USA alone at the age of 15
- I’ve lived in Russia, Europe and on both coasts of USA
- I have been super skinny and overweight
- I have been insecure and unhappy with reasons and secure and happy for no reason
- I used to wear glasses and healed my eyes with the power of thought and exercises
- I created "Couture Nutrition®" so you can have tailor-made solutions for your body and soul
- My brain usually comes up with jokes to soften stressful situations
- I think color coordination, sparkles and rainbows are underused